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wow, i think its time i said goodbye - The art of Thornwolf — LiveJournal
thornwolf
thornwolf
wow, i think its time i said goodbye
to what, may you ask? no, im not going anywhere, but im going to be avoiding just a few things in this fandom for awhile. to find out about it please read

ive been thinking a lot lately and i dont like how ive become so addicted to something that isnt real: my online social life. what does an online social life do for anyone? nothing. it does nothing. it does not help you in real life and it can really hurt the way you view certain things. i know this for a fact. for the past couple of weeks ive allowed myself to change from mature responsible 17 year old who will be 18 in 4 months, to screaming crying 5 year old brat.
and its not just me. ive noticed through live journals and message board posts that all of you (including myself) just like to take a topic and rip it a part, be it how much you hate someone, their art, how bad your day was or how someone didnt reply to your post or whoever said this about this artist, who stole WHAT from WHAT artist. ooo *whisper whisper whisper!* look what someone stole? this wolf looks just like that coyote someone drew a billion years ago but didnt put online cuz she didnt have a scanner then but they must have STOLE IT!
grow up. i know i need to.

im sorry i allowed myself to behave this way. its my own fault, but perhaps some of you can also change as well. this isnt real, i dont think most of you realize that. and my obsession with this so called "life" i think i have..well...its just a joke, and its allowed me to hurt many people i care about. including myself. it does nothing but harm me to contribute to this childish lifestyle. sure i LOVE being a fur dont get me wrong, but i also hate the social life that comes with it.
i think im going to go back to the way it used to be. yeah i like being moderately popular in the art community, but i also wanna be respected. not someone who goes and yells at people like a little baby *yes paul im talking about you* that im very ashamed of and i dont want to do again. why? cuz its stupid! nothing that happens online is gonna afect me IRL. Nothing. yet somehow i treat it like it will. i shouldnt let myself think like that.
first, id like to say some apologies. im sorry mom and dad for getting addicted to the net again. even though youve limited my usage, im still addicted. i think im going to set my own limits now, and i know just how to do it. im sorry tavis for contributing the part of the fandom you hate so much, and in turn sucking you in to my stupid little made up world.
im sorry paul the argument we had lasted more than a day. im sorry oakpaw, for being brutally honest about certain issues. im sorry everyone that ive allowed certain things to bring out the worst in me.

sure its fun to rant. but all the time? at other peoples expense? thats just wrong. ive ended up becoming someone i dont want to be and it needs to stop now. im aiming to move outta my house and get a real life, but i cant do that glued to the computer playing a child to anyone who reads any stupid comments i have to say.

im not going to go to certain forums. im not gonna post. if i do, yell at me, cuz i dont wanna contribute. i wanna lose touch with anything anyones doing. that way, by the time i feel im ready to surf the net and *talk* again having found myself, i wont know all the details about everyones life and ill be so lost and out of touch with the stupid drama everyones created for themselves that it will go back to "not even knowing you" again. do i still like you? yes. but perhaps some of you out there also need to do the same thing. its necessary if you want to grow up.

ive tried to eliminate all drama in my life. i think ive done a pretty nice job. but now, i need to get rid of the drama that faces me every day on my computer.

so...no forums, no responding to live journals. am i still gonna post in mine? yeah. but you wont hear me bitching about people you know online and how much they suck or how much i cant live without a certain message board or what so and so said about me. and i think this will help me. after all...i have certain things i need to gain back. and i dont want to be the next person you write about in Sabby and Sel's ShitPot.

so...im taking a long and much needed break from the furry fandom...well..at least all that comes with Oakpaw's boards. its really brought out the worst in me.

and once again. im sorry. =*(

Current Mood: crushed crushed

10 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
katarina42 From: katarina42 Date: January 17th, 2003 08:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, the internet is a poor substitute for real life. Unfortunately, a poor substitute is the only socializing that I get to do these days...

Take a break and enjoy yourself ^_^ Just make sure you AIM me once in awhile ;)
From: whiteyote Date: January 18th, 2003 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)

True, true, true, true and true. And a lot of other people should leave atleast for a while too. I know I am, once all my commissions are settled.
reaperfox From: reaperfox Date: January 18th, 2003 02:44 am (UTC) (Link)
See, I have mixed views on this, myself. I think there's a good need for Internet and Real relationships to go 50/50. As far as I've always been concerned, when you have a "social life" online with people whom you like and trust, it can be closer than those in real life simply because you *chose* them based on shared interests, loves, hates etc. In 'real life', you're friends mainly based on geography. You like and love people because you happened to meet them because you happened to live in the same street as them. The life you form online transcends the distance and instead you meet people you truly connect with, because you meet them ONLY through common interests and their personality.

I think there's room in life for a healthy dose of both. I know I wouldn't be happy without either in my life. I love doing things in the 'real world' but i would be absolutely lost without my soulsister, who can't help it that she lives in California and I live in England... and we wont even mention my mate.

But indeed, you gotta split the two, and you have to only do what you enjoy. If the forums are becoming too monotonous in their miseries, ditch them for a while. Just don't forget your friends :)
vestawolf From: vestawolf Date: January 18th, 2003 12:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey there...I agree with Boingo. I used to chat alot in the same chat room AC went to.. thats where we met, actually. And it becomes a lot of gossip and backstabbing in IM, and silly arguments over nothing with people that for the most part, you do not know. It reminds me a lot of jr high school with little cliques and groups of people within a larger group of people, and constant rumbling between the groups. That part is not worth the trouble.

The part which IS worth it is the real relationships or friendships you find online. The people who you are drawn to for some reaon you can't quite understand but become very deep REAL relationships. I have a small handful of those here, and one very special one...*looks at AC*. I have met (IRL) a few of the people I know from online, and its been fun to meet them. A few I have lost track of, but others are still friends. I guess its the same here as anywhere.. you get to know some people intimately or more deeply than you ever will others. And some of them are the type of friendships which are meant to be...

I don't think I could give up *this* world. To say its not real makes any very real feelings created here minimized. This is an extension of the *real* world...you make of it what you will, and if you need a break from it, then by all means take a break..It will be good for you :)
From: quicksilver24 Date: January 18th, 2003 05:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Breaks can be good. Try and enjoy yourself.
xianjaguar From: xianjaguar Date: January 18th, 2003 09:55 am (UTC) (Link)
I never noticed you being immature, and I never saw a lot of unwarranted ranting. (the few rants I did see were always for pretty good reasons, and I didn't see anyone of my friends tearing anyone else down). Maybe I am not around enough online or something. ::shrugs::

Breaks are good. Being online too much is bad, I agree. Spend the extra time enjoying life. Pray more. Read more. Go for walks. But do keep in touch!

In any case, if you want a break, you could always come up here, and feed the koi at our new apartment. And oh, there is like a million Japanese and Chinese restaurants around here! Seafood for days. =)
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: January 18th, 2003 10:27 am (UTC) (Link)
thank you so much you guys =) to the people i regularly talk to on IM that dont contribute to the drama *ie: Kat, Reaper and Xian etc etc.* im still gonna be available so dont worry about that. im just talking about all the drama with simion and oakpaws forums. those 2 things have REALLY brought out the worst in me and i really need to avoid that.
*hugs everyone* thank you though. and mmmm sushi *droooool* yes we must do sushi some day very soon =D
alex_to_you From: alex_to_you Date: January 18th, 2003 11:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Any break from something that is making you the slightest bit unhappy is always good. I support you (although i dont know the full story) but i pretty much support you in whatever you choose to do. enjoy the time... and call me :0)
acanis From: acanis Date: January 18th, 2003 11:43 am (UTC) (Link)
good luck thorn! i hear u exactly and im guilty of it myself.. when i used to go to chat rooms (i stopped quickly for a similar reason) its so easy to argue and get so damn angry on something.. and then i stop, think.. hang on.. i dont know this person.. i dont care..why am i getting angry? lol its funny really.. like i said i stopped... stupid things.

the art theft thing is silly... ok so altering a picture and claiming it and taking a character/picture and claiming it, thats bad.. but at the end of the day if some lesser artist copies a pose from kyoht or someone...who really cares? their art is usually much better anyway that the supposed "theif" and u cant copywrite a pose anyway.. *shrugs*

see u around thorn, i always enjoy reading your LJ
pardouncia From: pardouncia Date: January 20th, 2003 03:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm a bit late in responding to this. My own net addiction and all. Staying up until 5:30 checking LJ's isn't the smartest of things. *eyes pop out from staring at the monitor for too long* I do enjoy it though, and keeping up with my friend's lives is fun. I can understand why you need to take a break and wish you luck. Take things one step at a time, relax, enjoy yourself.
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