An Ethel Among Mermans (thornwolf) wrote,
An Ethel Among Mermans

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thats it? are you sure?

wow. this year has been so anti-climactic. i thought that senior year was going to be all fireworks and laser beams..but nope. its like we just slump over and graduate or something. it flew by and yes i do regret not doing enough and applying myself, but at the same time i think about it, and i really dont enjoy doing things with my fellow classmates. why? theyre annoying and immature. i try to befriend people, but then they end up making a fart joke and making obscene gestures with their hands or mouths or whatever body part they have available to them. theyre like crap flinging apes i swear *which explains my hatred for monkeys*

i dont think i should have to dumb myself down to have a good time. Tavis tells me im smart,my parents tell me im smart and get disappointed when i dont "act my IQ".. and i feel smart...but at the same time i wonder why i dont find certain things funny. i wonder why i cant stand my peers. am i pissy? no..not really. im actually not very agressive by nature and keep to myself most of the time. i just dont get along with the usual crowd i suppose. is that so wrong? i dont remember signing a contract saying i had to like people. i act nice regardless, unless someone tells me to shut up..*ie: kids in my english class* then ill go postal and put them in their place. theyre easily swayed fortunately for me.

now, i also feel like i didnt accomplish anything because i feel like i have to live up to my parents standards. while they dont expect anything out of me, my dad was in the yearbook club, ran the projector *yeah, he was a projector nerd* and had a lot of accomplishments in photography and other stuff. my mom, head cheerleader and runner up for student of the year, not to mention one of the most popular people in highschool AND was nominated homecoming/prom princess TWICE! hows that possible? a fluke in the voting system, but it just goes to prove that im none of those things, and never will be. yeah im different from my parents, but at the same time, they got the most out of their highschool years and i feel i sorta wasted mine. but then that loops all the way back around to where i say "yeah, but i dont LIKE those activities. i HATE ASB and i dislike the way my school spends our money."

ill guess ill just always be "that chick who draws" to those who remember me, if any.

i guess ill make my own fun in college. at least high school politics dont apply there.
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