An Ethel Among Mermans (thornwolf) wrote,
An Ethel Among Mermans

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Ladybug love

First things first: Tav is deadly-vu afraid of ladybugs. I dont know why, he just finds them gross or scary, yet hes not afraid of spiders. butterflies scare him too but thats cuz they have those long tongues. He finds ladybugs absolutely disturbing. I always tease him about it.

Tav and i were driving in his car and there was this spot on his windshield. he goes "whats that?" i said, a ladybug...and he flipped out. I tried to pick it up and hes like "NO NO NO NO NO NO! EW EW EW EW EW EW!!" and he jumped and ran out of the car.

later on we were sitting in his air conditioned back room watching tv. I saw a blob on the ceiling and i said..."whats that?"
tav got up and looked and goes " two ladybugs humping."
of course i got up to see and sure enough there was this big beefy man bug humping the hell out of the lady-bug.

we sat and watched them for awhile then continued to watch TV......for 2 more hours. we then looked at the ladybugs. still going at it. =P
tavs like,"okay starting to get a little freaked out can we PLEASE move them?" so we grabbed a cup and tried to scoop them in that. of course as i predicted, they freaked out and started flying at tavis who in turn got all bug eyed and was dodging ladybugs left and right. He ran away yelling and crouched on the floor yelling " THEYRE IN MY HAIR! THEYRE IN MY HAIR!" as im across the room trying to catch them. i later noticed the female had what appeared to be ladybug "love mayonaise" on her back *ewwww*

after awhile of trying we decided to leave them alone to their business, with tav nervously looking at the ceiling. we noticed that the male was on one wall and the female was on the other. apparently the male caught scent of the female and took off running in her direction. i didnt know ladybugs could run so fast! tav and i just watched in awe at those little bug legs running as fast as they can. as soon as he reached her he started HUMPING HER FACE!!! luckily after awhile he got it right....hes worse than any human male i think.
Then it came time for tav and i to go to bed. we decided to sleep in the back room on the couch since his air conditioner didnt work anymore in his room. of course tav was scared to sleep in a dark room with ladybugs but i told them that they were busy and wouldnt bother him. that seemed to put him at ease. they had been mating for 3 1/2 hours. i dont know how they do it. whats their secret?
(i got a picture of them im not a ladybug pornographer, but it didnt turn out so i had to search for this little .gif)
when we woke up in the morning they were not mating but just sitting there, being ladybugs. To tavs horror we found more ladybugs in the kitchen. he said "you know, this is what im worried about. theres so many ladybugs in my house but i bet you it just started out with 2 and now theres like a billion of them. thats why i was afraid to let those bugs stay together." hes got a point you know....soon he will be overrun with ladybugs.
when i got home this is what tav said to me in an e-mail:
I love you so much sweety!
I miss you already. I hope your flight was quick and safe. I cant wait to hear from you, give me a call when you get in. Love you sweety.
BTW, The female ladybug was missing when I got back home, so it was just me and the horny male. :p
-your Mr. Whiskers
soon after i got to talk to him. of course, the subject was brought up again....
NicoleSD: yeah me was so nice hugging you
NicoleSD: i got your e-mail Mr. Whiskers *kissy*
NicoleSD: i wonder why the males still there
BeeperBomb: I dont know.
BeeperBomb: but what happened to the female??
BeeperBomb: it was like she left him the same time you left me. and them me and him sat alone in the room missing the bother of you.
NicoleSD: prolly went to find a place to lay her eggs
NicoleSD: awwww!!!!
NicoleSD: i love you too
NicoleSD: so you and the man-bug had a bonding experience?
BeeperBomb: umm.... no. I put him out of his misery.
BeeperBomb: yeah... ?
NicoleSD: why??
BeeperBomb: I'm just kidding, he's still on the wall.
NicoleSD: oh god....thank you for not killing him
NicoleSD: hes my new pet away from home
BeeperBomb: aww.
NicoleSD: *pet pet*
NicoleSD: so you getting okay with ladybugs?
BeeperBomb: na, I didn't have it in me, cause he looked really sad that his mate was gone and I knew how he felt.
awww thats so sweet! but this next parts not so sweet...
NicoleSD: poor mr. whiskers
NicoleSD: poor mrs. whiskers
NicoleSD: poor ladybugs
NicoleSD: we all miss each other
NicoleSD: theyre LAY-d-bugs
NicoleSD: lol
BeeperBomb: thier horny bugs. :p
NicoleSD: i know
BeeperBomb: he was humping her face. o.O
NicoleSD: i didnt know ladybugs were that horny
NicoleSD: LOL yeah i know!
NicoleSD: did you see that?
BeeperBomb: -nod-
BeeperBomb: god he wanted it more then I do.
BeeperBomb: do you think she liked it atleast?
NicoleSD: if shes anything like me im sure she doesnt appreciate ladybug penis shoved in her face
BeeperBomb: you dont like ladybut penis shoved in yuor face either?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- bout no. do they even have penises????

so yeah, thats just another story from my new york trip. odd huh?

*edit* oh yeah...forgot this part: tav and i were sitting in the kitchen drinking gatorade and we were both thinking of the same poem. "ladybug ladybug fly away home..." and i mentioned it and i said it was the cruelest poem ever and he said "wow i was just thinking of the exact same thing!" but the thing is...we both heard 2 different versions. his was "ladybug ladybug fly away home, your house is on fire your children are alone." mine of course sounded more cruel, cuz the only one ive ever heard was "ladybug ladybug fly away home, your house is on fire your children will burn" isnt that horrible??? *sigh* poor ladybugs
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