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This is hilarious - The art of Thornwolf — LiveJournal
thornwolf
thornwolf
This is hilarious
At work we're sending a bunch of police departments a survey regarding their bulletproof vest size and how well their current one fits etc etc. Dad wrote up the survey, and these were some of the questions he put on there that had the whole department doubled over with laughter. Keep in mind, I'm pretty sure he's writing from personal experience knowing that these elements affect how a vest fits.

Survey Questions:

6. Rate your “love handles”? (circle one)


None Average Large

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]



7. How large is your belly? (circle one)

None Average Large

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]



8. How much does your belly hang over your gun belt while seated? (circle one)

None Average A Lot

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]



9. How much do you normally perspire? (circle one)

None Average A Lot

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]



10. How much body hair do you have? (circle one)

None Average A Lot

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]



Also, all these questions were on the first page of the survey. Imagine getting one of these to fill out and thinking "oookay I see where this is going"

*dies laughing* LOL!

*edit* it just keeps getting better and better. Dad decided to do away with mailing the survey, now Randy has to CALL the police departments and ask the officers these questions on the phone! *keels over*

Current Mood: giddy giddy

5 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
ruggels From: ruggels Date: May 4th, 2004 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Too funny!

It would be even weirder if you did it for ACS with all the "extreme" wearers there. going from the hulking giant that I used to drive on 12 Run, to the petite Latin Pixie with the large breasts on 5run, to the spheroidal Canadian expat on the 17run, and all the fit Hispanic and Vietnamese in between.

Scott
arikla From: arikla Date: May 4th, 2004 08:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snicker*

On a side note, con civilians order your vests, and do you haev a catalogue or such? Wolfy needs a new vest...
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: May 4th, 2004 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
well, being a manufacturer we just make em and sell em to distributers. We don't sell directly. Civilians CAN order vests, but they have to do it through a distributer. You may wanna check out armorholdings.com or safariland.com. I never go on the websites, but those might be able to give you some info on some potential dealers near you. If your questions still not answered, tell me and I'll talk to my supervisor about additional information and dealer catalogues we /might/ have, although i cant think of any right off the bat.
talynwolf From: talynwolf Date: May 5th, 2004 01:14 am (UTC) (Link)
*keels over in a fit of laughter* oh man thanks Thorn I needed to laugh after last night -.-
thaily From: thaily Date: May 5th, 2004 02:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Haha, and it's so true XD
I know a lot of the heavier cops in my team don't wear a vest partially because they're.. Well.. Their gut doesn't agree with bulletproof vests ;D

They -are- uncomfortable though, especially in summer.
5 comments or Leave a comment