It happened again. Mr.. ******'s precious bear has been kidnapped.
Capt. Bob ***** is in charge of the investigation and all leads should be directed to extension 3214.
We have established a reward of 25 pieces of chocolate for information leading to the apprehension of the perpetrators and safe return of the bear.
If this bear appears on Al Jazzera television there will be hell to pay. We will not cave into terrorists.
Your Commander in Chief.