An Ethel Among Mermans (thornwolf) wrote,
An Ethel Among Mermans

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The Dream

Okay for those of you who were with me for last year's Further Confusion you may remember sitting down with me at a table and me telling this really bizarre dream. I had folks come up to me afterwards and ask me to retell it and I said I would but I never got around to it, so here I'm going to type it out for your amusement. Here goes.

Thornwolf's really bizarre dream

I was in a house that was supposed to be my ex boyfriend Justin's house but it looked like a combo of my mom's apartment, our old mansion and or house previous and I was in what was "his" room looking on the computer at porn sites only to discover that all the models on the porn site were friends from my highschool. Just then, my dad IMs me on AOL and tells me to please come in the livingroom as he has something to show me. Now, my dad was in space on some government mission but he could still communicate to me through the internet and the television.

I turned on the TV and my dad was there floating in space and he said "Nicole, I have a job for you to do" and just then out of the VCR pops two robotic arms holding a baby and they plop the baby onto the ground in front of me. Dad says "Take care of this baby, it is very important that you don't let /anything/ happen to it."

So Justin and I are there with this baby and I say "maybe we should feed it" and he says "what do babie eat?" I said "I don't know..oh Jello!"

So we feed the baby green Jello and Justin is being a dork and flipping the Jello filled spoon around and flings a gob of gelatenous goodness right towards the baby. Everything goes into slow motion and I get all wide eyed and go "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (at this point I can see myself, its one of those weird third person dreams), and I dive between the baby and Jello, taking a hit of green goo to the chest. I fall to the floor and all these sirens start going off and confetti and streamers start flying from the cieling and about 6 secret service agents come barging in through my door. With them is in African couple..and when I say African I mean like...native dress africans with the little jiggy jaggy design hats and long robes and everything


and they have a goat tied to each of their legs.

The African man speaks to me and says "Oh thank you for saving our baby, you see, I am the chief of an African tribe who is plagued with this horrible disease that causes our bones to be so brittle that our legs break from walking. We have to tie these goats to our legs just so we can be stable enough to walk, and this baby of ours is the only healthy member of our tribe". So My dad comes back on the TV, once again, floating in space, and says "You done good kid"

And that's when a huge crowd of people comes in through the front door and its all of my ex boyfriends and highschool folks I didn't particularly care for, and this music starts playing, its "Any way you want it" by Journey. You know....typical party music.

Then Richard Simmons comes in and jumps on top of my television and says "Alright everybody...lets DAAAAANCE" and so everyone starts doing choreographed dance movements and this big booming voice from above says

This has been the world's longest dream for the world's smallest price.

And then I wake up.

It's a lot better with the voices and hand gestures but you get the idea. Maybe next time I'll tell the one about the Fraggles or the time I dreamed I was John Elway.

*edit* Because some of you may have a hard time understanding the exact mood of the party scene without the music, its the one that plays at the end of the Simpsons episode with Rodney Dangerfield as the voice of Mr. Burns' son, which I've conveniently made available for download here:

Journey - Anyway you want it
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