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The haul - The art of Thornwolf — LiveJournal
The haul
Dear households of Pacific Beach,

Unless you want to receive another haunting by a very very sad ghost next year I suggest you revise your candy offerings. Recycling your unwanted Valentines Day heart candies is not being true to the Halloween holiday spirit. That aside, they're unwrapped, and judging by the places I've found candy hearts wedged between on many occasions I certainly would not want them in my candy bag next year. If the hobos in Mission Bay don't want em then niether do us ghosts. Chalky tasting hepititis encrusted lint wafers are one Halloween surprise I can do without, thank you. Secondly, New Years poppers are not candy. Giving 5 year olds plastic tubes loaded with gunpowder and an oh so tempting pull string is a lawsuit waiting to happen. While this ghost quite enjoys the occasional exploding object, I'm sure the Spiderman and bumblebee would not appreciate a face full of smokey sparks.

As for quantities, less than 1lb of candy is not sufficient anti-haunting bribery.

Be seeing you next year.


PS: That earthquake you just felt? Yeah, that was me expressing my displeasure after having found that most of my Reeses peanutbutter cups are the white chocolate kind :(

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Current Mood: sad ghost

24 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:08 am (UTC) (Link)
I thought so too. I'm convinced some of these folks were emptying out their pantries.

Like one household had their lights on and I rang the bell and they were like "GO AWAY WE DONT HAND OUT CANDY" but they found candy for me anyways in their kitchen. WTF?!
drake_anaya From: drake_anaya Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)
I think getting chips and/or popcorn would own, but then I always prefer salt to sweets.
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:11 am (UTC) (Link)
I go for the chocolate bars. I like salty things but eh...i really don't like nacho cheese doritos. Bring me cool ranch and we'll talk ;)

Ive never had a popcorn ball though. It smells like marshmallows so I might as well try it. Could be good!

kitsumi From: kitsumi Date: November 2nd, 2006 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Popcorn balls are quite tasty.. I used to be able to get freshly made ones for 50 cents at the local mall. It was a sad day when the shop closed. =|
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 10:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Ok I tried it and it was delicious :D I wish I got another one.
dragonheadthing From: dragonheadthing Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Ick! Heart candies. Apparently the people in your area are starting to forget what Halloween is.
hartssong From: hartssong Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:39 am (UTC) (Link)
See I miss the good old days when our arms nearly fell off from the weight of candy bags. XD
xianjaguar From: xianjaguar Date: November 2nd, 2006 01:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Teddy Grahms? Chips? Popcorn? WTF?

The valentine's candy=LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
doodlesthegreat From: doodlesthegreat Date: November 2nd, 2006 06:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I remember folks giving out snack size cookies and chips back when I was a kid, so it's not that strange to me. The champagne popper is a tad unique, though...
xianjaguar From: xianjaguar Date: November 2nd, 2006 06:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I know people give them out, but if I was a kid, I'd be pissed. I'm in it for the CHOCOLATE.
Chips, pretzels, grahams and popcorn would just make me *want* to egg the house in revenge (not that I actually WOULD, of course.)
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah huh...NOT CANDY!
arbeywolf From: arbeywolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 01:34 am (UTC) (Link)
wow that is a pretty pathetic haul :(

Tootsie rolls are crap, I hated getting those...the only thing worse was the house that gave out a couple pennies! WTF?!
lejakl From: lejakl Date: November 2nd, 2006 01:55 am (UTC) (Link)
I see one roll of smarties. Those are the best! :D
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
I have both smarties and sweet tarts smarties :D
carlhh From: carlhh Date: November 2nd, 2006 02:28 am (UTC) (Link)
What the hell's wrong with white chocolate?
thornwolf From: thornwolf Date: November 2nd, 2006 02:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Its gross ;P At least I think so. I prefer the classic Reeses
doodlesthegreat From: doodlesthegreat Date: November 2nd, 2006 06:30 am (UTC) (Link)
It's not even really chocolate. It's sweetened cocoa butter.
smokepaw From: smokepaw Date: November 2nd, 2006 02:32 am (UTC) (Link)
I hate to do this Thorn, but.....

*LAUGHS!!!!!!!* -snort- -giggle-

Alright, I'm done now. :D
tarnac From: tarnac Date: November 2nd, 2006 02:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Shit, the candy offerings at my client offices topped that :(

...course most of em have mini-candy bars in bowls year round. Fucking fat waiting to happen.
growing_rose From: growing_rose Date: November 2nd, 2006 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Holy sheezle, man. I see NERDS. Freaking NERDS.

I wish I'd gone trick-or-treating. ;.; Everyone at work thinks I'm sixteen (I'm twenty). I could've pulled it off!
doodlesthegreat From: doodlesthegreat Date: November 2nd, 2006 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Now, I'm all for giving explosives to small children, as a means of removing the stupid at an early age before they can breed.

Hey, at least you didn't get any Jack Chick tracts or toothbrushes.
nambroth From: nambroth Date: November 2nd, 2006 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH MAN. I'll take your white chocolate peanut butter cups. SO DELICIOUS. XD

..... I got a bag of Lays potato chips this year. WTF?
reyfox From: reyfox Date: November 2nd, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I wouldn't mind if someone unloaded some Cadbury eggs in me at Halloween, but candy hearts? Beyond weak. TP ahoy!
trippystate From: trippystate Date: November 3rd, 2006 12:59 am (UTC) (Link)
wow . . what totally lame people. I always hated getting the unmarked black or orange wrapped octagons of nasty or the big orange peanuts that tasted like ass. My one and only trick or treater got an amazing haul . . I have the flu so I wasn't about to infect a bunch of children, but one kid found me before I could turn off all the lights and seclude myself like a hag. I gave her all the candy I had muhahahha:) blow pops, starburst, sour patch kids, and chocolate!

I think people are just getting lazy. At least they didn't panic and give you like, dinner leftovers or anything XD
24 comments or Leave a comment